Goal Setting – Gary Montgomery

Alway Learning

Posted On: 08-08-2015

I learned a lot when I watched the Republican candidates debate. I learned a few things about issues and politics but mostly I learned about communication.

I liked the energy most of the candidates showed up with. You’ve read how important energy is in communication from previous posts. Most candidates showed excitement.

What attracted my attention most in the debate was Donald Trump. First let me get this out of the way. I don’t agree with many of his comments. Often he is somewhat disruptive, arrogant, and boisterous. He makes some good points, but other comments he made need some fine tuning, or just left unsaid.

But what I want to point out is this: He believes what he says and you know he believes it. He is confident in his beliefs and he is comfortable in sharing what he knows to be true.

Following the debate I heard reporters talk about Trump’s performance. Some agree with him, others are opposed. But I’ve not heard anyone say, “Well, I’m not sure what he meant.” He knows what he believes and he is not afraid to tell us what he believes.

I like the “know what you believe” approach to communication and to life. In fact I like it so much I believe it, I teach it, and I work hard to live it.

I work with companies and organizations who want to improve their teams and their managers. I teach communication and leadership. The first thing I teach is to know what you believe. I am going to share some questions I have shared in past blogs, questions you ask yourself in order to know what you believe. These beliefs become your compass. They direct you in life.

Here we go with the questions:

Who am I? What do I believe? What are my values? What are my talents? What am I doing with my talents? What are my goals? What holds me back?

Good questions that become difficult questions once we focus and work to answer them. Try it. Answer them, write down your responses, and life will get easier because you know who you are, you decide where you are going (based on values, talents and goals) and you know how you will get there once you get whatever it is that holds you back out of the way.

Simple questions, difficult answers. However your life will get easier once you identify the answers.

This questioning process is what I present early in teaching leadership and communication. The key ingredients of a successful presentation is knowledge, confidence, and an effective process to deliver the message (communication.process).

The speaker has, or can get, the knowledge to share. I can teach an effective communication process but the confidence and trust needs to be part of the presenter. But don’t worry, like communication skills, the path to confidence can be learned, earned and internalized.

And the wonderful by-product of confidence and self-belief is when someone asks you a question you don’t have to try and come up with a new idea, or one that they will like. You very simply share what you know to be true, your beliefs. It makes life so much easier and it makes communication easier. You share the truth as you know it. Just share who you are and what you believe. It’s your message!

As we grow as communicators, or presenters, we learn to become comfortable in sharing. That comfort shows up in front of our children, our co-workers, or the audience of one-hundred you are addressing because you know what you believe. Your beliefs of course will influence your message, but that’s OK because you are confident of your message, you’ve worked on it. You spent time with the questions.

I’ll help you learn how to present it, but the hard part is over. You know what you believe. You know your message.

Join me September 17, 2015 to grow as a communicator and leader and to deeper your self-trust and confidence. Learn more about the seminar “Making Magic in the Front of the Room” by going to www.icanplay.com/magic. The room will be full of energy and people just like you, investing in themselves as communicators and leaders.

When do you quit?

Posted On: 02-06-2015

When do you quit?

I just completed a presentation with a small company. It was about Leadership and Teamership but I included a splash of goal setting in the event. My goal is to help others think about what kind of leader they can be but the audience always is in charge. They hear what I say but their minds take them where they need to go.

Following the presentation one of the employees of the establishment that hosted the event came up to me and said, “I needed to hear your message. You were put here just for me. I didn’t want to come in to work this event but I found myself taking plenty of notes on the other side of the bar.” He explained he did not follow his dream in the past and it has haunted him for long time.

Here’s what he heard … “it’s never too late!”

My son Troy was running in his first marathon. It was a warm day in Chicago, going to get up to 80 degrees. Troy had trained all summer for this special October day. He was prepared and he was doing very well, not with a chance of winning, but he was going to finish the 26 plus mile adventure.

Late in the race the warm temperatures started getting to him. He was tired. His legs were heavy. He was hot. He was thirsty. He took water at every opportunity. As the race stretched on he slowed down more and more to drink the water. The more he slowed, the more he thought about stopping, about quitting. But he kept talking to himself. “Don’t stop Troy. It will be too difficult getting started again.” He pushed forward.

Finally he did stop. He took a bottle of water from a helper and slowed to a walk, then to a halt. Negative thoughts raced through his mind. “Give it up, or just walk to the finish line. Just finishing will be great. I ran most of the way.” His attitude had changed from the first time he decided to run a marathon. In the summer he had energy and excitement pushing him to train. His thinking was different now that fatigue set in. Who was it that said “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.” Troy was thinking, maybe it was Confucius, maybe Lombardi, perhaps it was Dad. Whoever thought of it was right on!

It was then that Troy was jolted from his thoughts of quitting. “Hey,” a police officer shouted. The cop was leaning on a barricade. “How long have you trained for this race?” Troy replied, “Started in June.” The police officer shook his head and said, “You mean you trained for four months and you’re going to walk to the finish line?”

Troy perked up. Finish line?

The police officer smiled, “It’s just around the corner. You might want to pick up the pace a little bit.”

Troy sprinted to the finish line. It was still October but his mind raced back to that day in June when he decided to try something he’s never done before. He had renewed energy. The excitement returned. The passion was back. He had come too far to quit! He just needed to adjust his thinking.

How about you? When do you quit? When is it time to just walk the rest of your life and leave the dream out there for someone else?

Or have you come too far to quit?

Right Here, Right Now

Posted On: 02-20-2014

When I stand in the 3rd base coaching box I attempt to get the batter to think he can hit it. I want him to focus on the task at hand and I share encouragement. “You can do it!” “You’re a hitter!” “You’ve done it before you can do it again!” I want him to believe he will be successful!

One of the phrases that the kids hear from me is “See the ball, Hit the ball!” I want to break it down to the simplest thought we can have.

I’d like to take credit for the phrase but it came from Cincinnati baseball great, Pete Rose. He shared that “See the Ball Hit the Ball,” when he was asked, “What do you think about when you are in the batter’s box?” “Think!” he snarled at us while we stood with microphones outstretched to hear the all time hits-leader share his secrets. “I don’t think … I see the ball, I hit the ball!” Wow! How simple. Don’t get lost in deciding if its a curve ball or slider; don’t worry that you are down by one run; don’t worry that you need the win to make the playoffs. Just focus on one thing. “See the ball, Hit the ball.”

It’s a great philosophy for life. What I call “Right Here, Right Now!” That’s what we can control, that’s where we are, and Right Here, Right Now is where we can take steps to control our future. How simple!

When I am working out in the gym, pushing weight or jogging on the tread mill it’s Right Here, Right Now that will get me to the goal I have of being in shape. Yes, I need to plan and see the outcome I want, but I need to focus on what I do Right Here and Right Now. Put down the donuts (Right Here Right Now) and speed up the treadmill (Right Here Right Now); add a few more repetitionss with the weights (Right Here Right Now.) What I do in the present will create the future.

I need to put that philosophy to work in all parts of my life. Health, Faith, Family, Relationships, and Career. Each time I pick up a bat and go the plate I need to hear the 3rd base coach encouraging me ” Gary! You can do it. You can make the sales call! You can get in shape! You can deepen your relationship with Christ! You can show Judy how much you love her! You can let Tara know she is the best ever first grade teacher! You can take a positive, encouraging attitude everywhere you go today.” Gary, just be the best you can be – RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! Everything else will be influenced by what you do – Right Here, Right Now!

How simple!

Thoughts on Trust

Posted On: 02-01-2014

I was working with my eight grade Sunday School class. We have stepped into trust. That’s a big step.

They believe what they can see and they are challenged to trust what they can not see or touch. They are asked to have faith. But then that’s the reason we gather each Sunday. It’s all about faith. We are discussing faith in God, His Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. It would be so much easier if we could just show up with something they can touch or hold or examine with their hands. It’s not that easy and that is why it’s called FAITH … or trust.

What we are called to do as individuals of Faith is to trust in something we cannot see or touch but only understand through experience. And then we are called to share that experienced faith so that others will see it acted out and begin to believe.

A church asked me to speak at their services. A witness talk about stewardship. Stewardship is about giving but first it’s about a relationship. A relationship based on faith lived out in experiences. The only way I know to witness my faith is to share the experiences that made the faith I have grow.

When I have presented witness talks in the past I am deeply concerned that me talking about me (my experiences) will turn people off. “He’s just talking about himself,” I imagine the individuals in the pews will say. They are right. I am talking about my stories and the people in my life. That’s how my faith is played out … in real life … my real life experience and actions while living life!

Once I start thinking this way I realize what I need. I need trust! Trust in God and trust in me. Only when I share my story and my experiences will God come alive in my life. I need to have Faith. The very same Faith, and trust, that I am trying to get my 8th grade Sunday School class to understand. Here’s what I have come up with. Faith and Trust must be lived to be understood. We experience these qualities, we don’t necessarily explain them. That’s why they are difficult to explain. They have to be experienced; experienced in challenges, in trials, in doubts, in success, in joy, in hope and in love. Wait a minute how do you explain hope and love?

Something else you have to experience … but that’s another subject for another class.

Honesty

Posted On: 09-18-2013

I have been invited to speak to the seniors at Trinity High School next week . My son attended Trinity so there is some history here. The school fathers teach the students to be men of character … and one of the core characteristics is honesty. I am addressing them on that subject.

My first thought is that honesty is a wide reaching subject. Think about it, if you had to present on honesty where would you start. Well you would tell them to always tell the truth, be honest. But then where do you go? It’s a broad subject.

Well, since I need to address these young men I have been focused on the subject for about three months. Here’s what I have come up with.

Honesty is internal but it is expressed externally. Honestly is an required navigational tool for making decisions. Honesty is a must for great leaders so that others can trust them. Honesty is a foundational building block for success. Honesty helps you become comfortable with who you are and pushes you to where you want to go.

O.K. we could go on. But what I have done is tell you what the characteristics of honesty do for you … yes it is needed. But how do we get ti?

Here’s how we do it. We dig deep inside ourselves, find out who lives there, and we plan to tell the truth with that person. We start to ask that person questions. It makes sense doesn’t it. If we are going to be controlled by someone we should know who is doing the controlling.

Here are the questions to ask. 1. Who am I? 2. What do I believe? 3. What are my values s? 4. What are my talents? 5. What am I doing with my talents? 6. What are my dreams? 7. What holds me back?

O.K. now, be honest! When you are honest with yourself you know who you are, what your dreams are, and how you are going to act on your way to success. You know what you believe and you stop worrying about what others think about you or your ideas.

I laugh at some of the goofy decisions I made through my life because I was concerned about what someone else thought of me or what I was going to do. I wasn’t honest with myself!

Perhaps it’s part of maturity or it’s just trying and failing ..just being honest with yourself and trust yourself. Whatever it is, I find life is easier when I am honest with myself and base my decisions on what I know to be true .. trust myself.

O.K. That’s what I’ll tell the students at Trinity.

It looks like this!

Posted On: 09-06-2013

One of the challenges with delegating is to be sure that everyone understands the directions and the desired results. One of the ways to clarify is to use the ‘it looks like this’ phrase when identifying the results or expected outcomes and the steps along the path. Another way is to use questions in opening the minds of those to whom you assign the tasks. Questions such as – What will your first step be? What resources will you need? Who do you go to for assistance when you are stuck?

Questions are great and identifying the outcome help others see the goal…and both processes are motivational. Most know the values of questions. I have addressed them in the past and will go deeper in a future article. Right now let’s focus on seeing the goal before it becomes reality, and how it motivates us. I call that vision. It’s part of the ‘I CAN PLAY’ attitude we need for success.

About ten years ago I had a knee replacement. The surgery was simple compared to what was next … physical therapy. One part of the process to get my knee back to normal movement was the stationary bike. Sounds simple for someone with good knees. My left knee was not good. It was swollen and sore from the surgery and I had difficulty moving it. Back to the bike. I could not make my left knee bend so that I could make the rotation on the bike. The goal was to go all the way around but I couldn’t bend my knee to make the complete circle. Too much pain!

On my fourth visit to the physical therapist Shawn greeted me with “We’re going all the way around today on the bike!” I looked at him like he was crazy. I can’t get my knee to bend enough to go all the way around. Too much pain. “No way,” I said. Shawn looked me in the eye. “We can do it, we’re going all the way around …today!”

I got on the bike but did not have the same expectation that Shawn expressed. Too much pain! Shawn noticed that I was doing what I had been doing in previous visits; go to the point of pain on the bike, then reverse direction. He yelled across the room, “Gary, we’re going all the way around…today!”

Shawn was good… like a teacher or coach good. He had gained my respect, built a relationship during previous visits, and now he was setting the bar higher. Here’s the goal … all the way around. It was like he was saying …”IT LOOKS LIKE THIS! All the way around.”

Shawn’s motivation, inspiration, and direction worked. After a series of reversals, I started trying a little harder, absorbing a little more pain, visualizing what success looks like and …. I DID IT. I went all the way around! Once I completed the circle I let go with a loud scream! Everybody stopped their therapy and stared. “What’s that all about,?” is what I interpreted their staring to be asking … so I explained the reason for the yelling. “I went all the way around,” was my simple explanation.

It happened because Shawn got me to see success. Without saying the exact words he got me to understand “It looks like this” and then the vision became reality.

I Can Play

Posted On: 06-23-2012

It’s simple, it really is! Believe in yourself, in your success, and in your ability to get there. Sure it helps you but it can also influence others. The individuals you target along with everyone else you encounter!

OK, you’ve heard it before. But have you started working on it, the self-belief part? Let me give you a formula for this self-belief.

1) Vision. See it of course, but go beyond seeing your success to feeling it. Goal setting is necessary in this development. Writing out goals is a challenging process for many. So challenging that few do it. Have you done it? Put on paper what you want to achieve. Be specific about what it is you want. Be exact about what day you want it to happen and most importantly create the feeling you will have as you live your goals. Some call it dreaming… but do it while you are awake. Decide what it will feel like, decide how you will act, decide what you will say. It will help you in your visioning, your goal-setting. Become what you want to be. Act the way you want to act. Think the way you will think when you become what you want to be. See it happening! You are transforming yourself into what you want to be. And here’s a key word for the journey — FOCUS! Focus on the goal (that’s visioning) and the picture will trigger the goal reaching process inside you, and what is inside causes you to take the actions necessary for you to become what you want to be. It starts when you make your dreams real in your mind so you can call on them at any time. You can feel it –Focus! That’s Vision!

2) Positive Atmosphere. Positive people see success, negative people see obstacles. Do you believe dthat? Individuals in my audiences say they do. In fact I’ve never had an argument about it. Now I do know negative individuals who have success but they fight it more because they focus on the “I Can’t” before deciding on the “I Can.” Why not focus on the positive? The path to achievement, to success, is quicker. Will you have to overcome obstacles? Probably. But if you travel with a positive atmosphere you create a positive environment. It’s what you bring to the issues, to the meeting, to the committee, to the challenge; you bring a positive approach to the issue and make it easier to see and create success. What do you see when you view your success? Do you see why you can’t achieve or do you see the prize. Do you focus on your talents and what you can do or the obstacles and the difficultly in thinking differently? It’s up to you, no one else. Do you focus on creating a positive atmosphere — and then living in it — and sharing it? It’s a choice. Get positive about how you think, how you act, and how you talk to yourself. Start now to live in a positive atmosphere. It’s your choice!

3) Risk. The truth is we must take risk as we travel to success. If we stay where we are, do not risk, then we stay where we are. It’s safe but there’s no development or growth. It’s easy to pick out the individuals who have failed to risk in their lives. They are all around you. Doing what they have always done and remaining where they have always been. Sometimes they might tell you what they could have been or what they could have done. Ask they why they didn’t reach what they could have done. In some way they will get to the fact that they didn’t go after it. Perhaps they had a challenge, or a tragedy, or perhaps they were just comfortable. The reason is not important but the fact is they didn’t risk something new, something different. To go somewhere you’ve never been you have to do something you’ve never done. We need to attempt new feats to reach new heights! And the exciting part of being a risk taker is that we learn and climb as we discover new processes and ideas. Risk-taking becomes a way of life and moves us forward, we become comfortable taking risk. When we become risk takers we grow. Focus on growing, getting better- become a risk taker.

When we combine Vision, with Positive Atmosphere and Risk taking we start to trust ourselves and we start to believe in our talents, possibilities, opportunities, goals, and actions. We believe in our selves and what we can accomplish. We become comfortable reaching out and trying new things. Failure does not scare us. We understand we will stumble at times but we believe enough in ourselves not to worry about a temporary setback. That’s living life with an I CAN PLAY attitude. When you get there your Focus will change. You will stay focused on success. It’s a way of life.

Once you get this I CAN PLAY attitude, you will give it to others. You can’t help it. Your actions will influence others — the ones you target and the individuals you will never know that you’ve helped. You can change the way people think about themselves and success!

Questions shared with Precious Blood

Posted On: 03-15-2012

Just returned from a Mission with Precious Blood Parish in Owensboro, KY. I met and prayed with some wonderful people who are letting their Light shine in the Parish and beyond!

We discussed a couple of communication processes using questions … asking others, but more importantly asking ourselves. Here are some of the questions and ideas we explored during the three day Mission.

Who am I? This digs to our very core. Who am I? What a question! But instead of just ignoring the question start writing down answers. Explore yourself, the deeper you explore the more you will understand. And if you don’t like some of the answers…adjust!

What do I believe? If you were required to stand on a roof top and shout out what you believe , for everyone to hear–What would you say? Similar to what does your sign say or what is your message. What do you believe?

What are my values? This one is similar to what do I believe but with a twist. What values to you adhere to. Truth, is that important? Honesty, commitment, service to others… what values drive you to be who you are. Write them down so you know who you are and what you are committed to.

What are my talents? This a little easier but still difficult to address. The best way to discover talents is to use your talents. List your talents — it helps define who you are.

What am I doing with my talents? Do I give my talents away, that is, do I use them. The only way they come alive is to put them to action. If you are an artist but haven’t put a brush on a canvas, you aren’t using your talents. If you are a great communicator but don’t greet people, or look them in the eye when you speak, you aren’t doing much with your talent. Use you talents, all of them, use them often, and you will discover there’s more in there. Keep looking!

What holds me back? Let’s face it you are a unique individual, unique talents, skills but sometimes things hold you back from being the best you can be. Explore what holds you back. Name it, tame it and move forward … get past the obstacle. You first have to identify what holds you back.

Questions are wonderful tools to use for growth. Grow yourself, grow your family, your church, and your workplace.

Here is the Gary Montgomery process when using questions with others … Q-L-C.

Of course the Q stand for quetions. Open conversation with others with questions about them.

The L stands for Listen and for Learn. And learning about others is most important. Listening is the process we use to Learn about others. Pay close attention about them because the more we learn about others, the deeper we can go in building a relationship.

The C stands for Contribute. Once we learn what individuals like and dis-like we can Contribute to them and help them grow by feeling better about themselves. When they feel better about who they are, because they were around and with us, well that’s leadership. They will want to be around you, listen to you and be influenced by you more and more because you help them feel better about who they are. That’s the process … how to use questions to help others grow.

At the three-day Mission we focused on using the questions in our life to grow, to discover the Light, to become the Light, and then to give the Light of Christ away.

Be specific and go deep when questioning yourself. You can take it because you want to be the best you can be.

Be gentle when using the question technique with others. They don’t yet know how good they can be. They need you to guide them.

The friendly people at Precious Blood were an inspiration for me to continue questioning and working to grow and share the Light! Thanks for the kindness and hospitality!

Buy in

Posted On: 02-27-2012

A few years ago Notre Dame beat Michigan. My son is a Notre Dame grad and we are Irish football fans. The teem had been struggling so victories were valuable. This particular win was against a sub-par Michigan team. The Wolverines had a new coach and they were struggling. Nonetheless, Notre Dame had a victory.

My son called after the win, “Dad, we’re back!”

“Troy,” I said, “Did you watch the game? Michigan turned it over three times in the first quarter and Notre Dame couldn’t take advantage. Notre Dame was kicking field goals when they should have been scoring touchdowns from close range. Notre Dame didn’t put on a very good display against a pretty bad opponent.”

“Dad,” came the reply from the phone. “Don’t be negative, you gotta be a fan.”

That’s what he said. What he meant was — are you in or are you on the sidelines? Real fans buy in!

It made me think about commitment. There are things I am really committed to in life and those commitments show up in everything I think and do. As I look back at my past I can see where I was truly committed, and I see where I was partly committed, and I can see where I merely went through the motions, when I was on the sidelines. It made a difference in the results.

Today I know what I believe and that belief guides my commitment in all parts of life; faith, family and profession.

At a breakfast with a new friend this morning I shared that self-belief, self-trust, makes life easier. It becomes easier because you know what to ‘jump into’ … what to ‘just do’ … what to commit to … and what to buy into.

You are powerful

Posted On: 10-02-2010

You are powerful! You really are. No telling what you can accomplish!

Visited Hammond Indiana yesterday and spoke to some wonderful individuals (mostly women) who help other people. They work with children and families in Early Childhood development. Their goal is to convince others they can be better than they think they can be. They don’t always think about it that way but that’s what they are doing; teaching people (kids & families) to grow … to have vision, to live in a positive atmosphere and to take risk and stretch. Sounds like living life with an I CAN PLAY attitude. That’s why I was there.

While preparing the room for the presentation I met a young man who was with security for the University where the conference was held. He said he worked part time while going to school. He was studying finanace. I asked what he was going to do after college. “Finance” was his answer.

“What company?” I asked. Said he didn’t know. “What will you be doing in finance?” I asked again. Said he didn’t know. “What will it look like when you do what you do?” Said he didn’t know … but you could see he was thinking

I suggested he start to answer those questions and begin to see where he was going and also begin to see how it’s going to happen. He was listening. You can tell when people are listening. Then I asked again, “Can you see yourself across the desk with someone asking for your help, maybe trying to buy a house?” He nodded. He could not only see himself there he could feel the future!

We finished our conversation. He was aglow! He could see success. That’s vision!

As I continued preparing the room I thought …that’s powerful. He could see the future as he creates it. He’s powerful. We all are!