Uncategorized – Gary Montgomery

Really! It’s how you say it.

Posted On: 05-09-2016

Judy and I took our grandchildren on a weekend trip. One evening were were swimming in the hotel pool and my grandson said “Pops, swim over here.” I said, “I can’t Caleb.” The reason I said that is I can’t swim.

Caleb looked at me and said “No, really Pops, swim over here.” My replay was the was the same. “I can’t Caleb.” Caleb was more emphatic now. the tone of his voice was urging me to follow his directon. “Really Pops, I want you to swim over here!.” I said it again. “Caleb, I can’t swim to you.” He frowned at me and I dicided it was time to clarify. I said, “Caleb, I can’t swim.” He had an astonished look on his face. “Really!” I said “Really, I can’t swimn.”

I remember that incident as thought it was yesterday, especially his final “Really!” It hurt, it was troubling, to tell him I could not do something that he thinks everyone should be able to do. But I can’t.

I have a swimming pool in my back yard. It’s been there for ten years. Caleb has been visiting the pool his entire life. He is not ten. He has been taught, encouraged, inspired to swim, many times by me, his Pops. So he assumed I could swim because I have been encouraging him to learn to do the things it takes to swim. I encouraged him to go past the fear, past the doubt, do something you don’t want to do, put your head under water, believe in yourself, trust.

I guess that’s why it hurt, the “Really” Because Caleb respects his Pops when I encourage him to go beyo0nd what he thinks he can do. He trusts me. But perhaps a little less when he discovered the guy who was telling him to keep reaching wasn’t reaching very far. “Really!” yeah, really.

Alway Learning

Posted On: 08-08-2015

I learned a lot when I watched the Republican candidates debate. I learned a few things about issues and politics but mostly I learned about communication.

I liked the energy most of the candidates showed up with. You’ve read how important energy is in communication from previous posts. Most candidates showed excitement.

What attracted my attention most in the debate was Donald Trump. First let me get this out of the way. I don’t agree with many of his comments. Often he is somewhat disruptive, arrogant, and boisterous. He makes some good points, but other comments he made need some fine tuning, or just left unsaid.

But what I want to point out is this: He believes what he says and you know he believes it. He is confident in his beliefs and he is comfortable in sharing what he knows to be true.

Following the debate I heard reporters talk about Trump’s performance. Some agree with him, others are opposed. But I’ve not heard anyone say, “Well, I’m not sure what he meant.” He knows what he believes and he is not afraid to tell us what he believes.

I like the “know what you believe” approach to communication and to life. In fact I like it so much I believe it, I teach it, and I work hard to live it.

I work with companies and organizations who want to improve their teams and their managers. I teach communication and leadership. The first thing I teach is to know what you believe. I am going to share some questions I have shared in past blogs, questions you ask yourself in order to know what you believe. These beliefs become your compass. They direct you in life.

Here we go with the questions:

Who am I? What do I believe? What are my values? What are my talents? What am I doing with my talents? What are my goals? What holds me back?

Good questions that become difficult questions once we focus and work to answer them. Try it. Answer them, write down your responses, and life will get easier because you know who you are, you decide where you are going (based on values, talents and goals) and you know how you will get there once you get whatever it is that holds you back out of the way.

Simple questions, difficult answers. However your life will get easier once you identify the answers.

This questioning process is what I present early in teaching leadership and communication. The key ingredients of a successful presentation is knowledge, confidence, and an effective process to deliver the message (communication.process).

The speaker has, or can get, the knowledge to share. I can teach an effective communication process but the confidence and trust needs to be part of the presenter. But don’t worry, like communication skills, the path to confidence can be learned, earned and internalized.

And the wonderful by-product of confidence and self-belief is when someone asks you a question you don’t have to try and come up with a new idea, or one that they will like. You very simply share what you know to be true, your beliefs. It makes life so much easier and it makes communication easier. You share the truth as you know it. Just share who you are and what you believe. It’s your message!

As we grow as communicators, or presenters, we learn to become comfortable in sharing. That comfort shows up in front of our children, our co-workers, or the audience of one-hundred you are addressing because you know what you believe. Your beliefs of course will influence your message, but that’s OK because you are confident of your message, you’ve worked on it. You spent time with the questions.

I’ll help you learn how to present it, but the hard part is over. You know what you believe. You know your message.

Join me September 17, 2015 to grow as a communicator and leader and to deeper your self-trust and confidence. Learn more about the seminar “Making Magic in the Front of the Room” by going to www.icanplay.com/magic. The room will be full of energy and people just like you, investing in themselves as communicators and leaders.

Energy

Posted On: 08-03-2015

I can’t help it! I get excited when I have the opportunity to help someone grow. Even when I can’t understand them fully.

Working with eighth graders in religious education, teaching ten-year old to catch a baseball, or working with adults on how to make a presentation in front of the room, it’s exciting to see someone grow! And the excitement is often contagious. Once someone steps into the the energy zone they become more spirited and energetic.

I attended a retreat recently and I did not understand a word that was said. The retreat was presented by a native of India and he spoke in his native tongue. He and I have been working together to improve his use of the English language. He is doing great but I thought it would be a benefit for me to see him in his comfort zone, speaking his language, and seeing how he uses his body mechanics and the atmosphere he creates while in his comfort zone.

While I did not understand the native Indian language I learned a lot about his communication style and techniques. When he spoke in his native tongue he was more energized and animated than when he speaks in English. Of course, he was more comfortable.

That taught me about comfort. It is a strong message for all of us. Get comfortable in what you say and how you say it. Believe it! Believe that it will help others! Believe that what you say has value! Believe that it is worth hearing by others. Believe that it will help someone, somehow, someway! When you know your message has value you will share it more readily and with more confidence. You will work harder to be sure the audience understand exactly what you mean and what you feel about the message. The words are coming alive and being influenced by your actions.

I am going to work with my friend to get comfortable in a new language and I want him to understand that his message, although it might be a little difficult to comprehend because of the challenge of a new language, nonetheless it needs to be delivered with the energy that lives inside him. Let it out! That is part of who he is and how he presents. Go past the doubt that the different language presents. Share the energy, the audience will get the meaning even thought they might not comprehend each syllable. They will piece it together, the words and the action, the smile and facial expression , and they will receive the intended message.

September 17, you are invited to grow your presentation skills. You will learn how to boost the energy level when you communicate, to a large audience, or to an audience of one. Even if it’s to your spouse, daughter, son, or co-worker, the energy you bring creates the atmosphere of the message. When we speak, our purpose is to be understood. We want that atmosphere to help the meaning of the presentation come alive! The “Making Magic in Front of the Room” seminar will help you grow as a presenter and a communicator!

Go to www.icanplay.com/magic to learn more about the seminar and to be sure to reserve your seat.

Look forward to seeing you, and seeing your excitement September 17, 2015 at Indiana Wesleyan – 1500 Alliant Avenue, Louisville- 8:30 AM to 4:00 PM.

When you register for the seminar you can also sign to make a five-minute presentation and have it critiqued during the seminar. It’s a great way to learn for the presenter and those in the audience.

To register go to: www.icanplay.com/magic

When do you quit?

Posted On: 02-06-2015

When do you quit?

I just completed a presentation with a small company. It was about Leadership and Teamership but I included a splash of goal setting in the event. My goal is to help others think about what kind of leader they can be but the audience always is in charge. They hear what I say but their minds take them where they need to go.

Following the presentation one of the employees of the establishment that hosted the event came up to me and said, “I needed to hear your message. You were put here just for me. I didn’t want to come in to work this event but I found myself taking plenty of notes on the other side of the bar.” He explained he did not follow his dream in the past and it has haunted him for long time.

Here’s what he heard … “it’s never too late!”

My son Troy was running in his first marathon. It was a warm day in Chicago, going to get up to 80 degrees. Troy had trained all summer for this special October day. He was prepared and he was doing very well, not with a chance of winning, but he was going to finish the 26 plus mile adventure.

Late in the race the warm temperatures started getting to him. He was tired. His legs were heavy. He was hot. He was thirsty. He took water at every opportunity. As the race stretched on he slowed down more and more to drink the water. The more he slowed, the more he thought about stopping, about quitting. But he kept talking to himself. “Don’t stop Troy. It will be too difficult getting started again.” He pushed forward.

Finally he did stop. He took a bottle of water from a helper and slowed to a walk, then to a halt. Negative thoughts raced through his mind. “Give it up, or just walk to the finish line. Just finishing will be great. I ran most of the way.” His attitude had changed from the first time he decided to run a marathon. In the summer he had energy and excitement pushing him to train. His thinking was different now that fatigue set in. Who was it that said “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.” Troy was thinking, maybe it was Confucius, maybe Lombardi, perhaps it was Dad. Whoever thought of it was right on!

It was then that Troy was jolted from his thoughts of quitting. “Hey,” a police officer shouted. The cop was leaning on a barricade. “How long have you trained for this race?” Troy replied, “Started in June.” The police officer shook his head and said, “You mean you trained for four months and you’re going to walk to the finish line?”

Troy perked up. Finish line?

The police officer smiled, “It’s just around the corner. You might want to pick up the pace a little bit.”

Troy sprinted to the finish line. It was still October but his mind raced back to that day in June when he decided to try something he’s never done before. He had renewed energy. The excitement returned. The passion was back. He had come too far to quit! He just needed to adjust his thinking.

How about you? When do you quit? When is it time to just walk the rest of your life and leave the dream out there for someone else?

Or have you come too far to quit?

The Juice

Posted On: 07-25-2014

There’s a guy in the gym, nice guy, but he keeps to himself. At least he did not talk with me. He trains people and he keeps an intense look on his face. Better do what he says!

One day a young lady was next to me on the treadmills. She shouted down to the ‘intense’ trainer on the workout fl0or below. “Is that a new shirt?” She got an intense head nod in the affirmative. ” I like it!” she shouted above the noise of the TV. Mr. Intense smiled. He smiled at her! Didn’t know he could do that. So I yelled out “I like it too!” It was a nice purple. He looked at me like he wanted to take my head off. No smile. Intense!

A couple of days later I was in one of the workout rooms talking to a friend. Mr. Intense stepped into the large room and asked if he and his client could use some equipment in the room. When he came in I said “Mr. Intense”, (not his real name), “the other day a pretty young lady said she liked your new shirt. You smiled at her. I said I also liked the shirt and you looked upset that I talked to you. What’s up?”

Mr. Intense smiled. Second time I’ve see that. Looked good! But no verbal response.

In future encounters Mr. Intense and I would pass each other and say hello. It escalated to “How’s it going today?” Then we moved to sentences and paragraphs. Truth be told, I enjoyed Mr. Intense quite a bit. So then I asked him. Why the intense look all the time? “It’s the persona,” he said. “I want people to know I’m serious.”

Mr. Intense was a college football player. He was a talented defensive end and there is no doubt in my mind that it was serious business when he mixed it up on the football field. Intense. But he didn’t have to frown for someone to understand he was serious. He just knocked them on their butt! He got results!

With that understanding as a guideline I attempted an analogy between what he did and what he is doing.

” Mr. Intense, the gym is not the football field and you don’t have to frown for someone to understand you mean business in helping them develop their body. Just share your skills with them, give them value and make them better. Get the results!” He was still looking pretty serious. “And you can smile while you do it. In fact they might like you more and that would make it easier for them to follow your intense workout. Encourage them with positive reinforcement and work in a smile and a ‘way to go!’ now and then.”

He didn’t hit me after I called him out. Instead he sat back and looked at me like he was thinking about what I shared. That’s what great players do. They listen to the coach and then figure out how they are going to incorporate this new information into a game plan and then results. Mr. Intense is a smart guy.

The next time we were in the gym together Mr. Intense walked up and said “Hey you got it!”

“Got what ?” I asked. “You got the juice, ” he said.

“The juice?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “You got the energy … the excitement.” He smiled.

Mr. Intense knows what he’s doing making people better in the gym. And now he’s sharing the energy, excitement, and the smile to add even more value to the value he brings. He’s bringing the Juice! And when you bring the Juice, it’s easier to get to the results! It becomes your persona… it becomes who you are, and clients, and everyone else, will listen and respond to your suggestions when you add a little juice along with the instruction.

Right Here, Right Now

Posted On: 02-20-2014

When I stand in the 3rd base coaching box I attempt to get the batter to think he can hit it. I want him to focus on the task at hand and I share encouragement. “You can do it!” “You’re a hitter!” “You’ve done it before you can do it again!” I want him to believe he will be successful!

One of the phrases that the kids hear from me is “See the ball, Hit the ball!” I want to break it down to the simplest thought we can have.

I’d like to take credit for the phrase but it came from Cincinnati baseball great, Pete Rose. He shared that “See the Ball Hit the Ball,” when he was asked, “What do you think about when you are in the batter’s box?” “Think!” he snarled at us while we stood with microphones outstretched to hear the all time hits-leader share his secrets. “I don’t think … I see the ball, I hit the ball!” Wow! How simple. Don’t get lost in deciding if its a curve ball or slider; don’t worry that you are down by one run; don’t worry that you need the win to make the playoffs. Just focus on one thing. “See the ball, Hit the ball.”

It’s a great philosophy for life. What I call “Right Here, Right Now!” That’s what we can control, that’s where we are, and Right Here, Right Now is where we can take steps to control our future. How simple!

When I am working out in the gym, pushing weight or jogging on the tread mill it’s Right Here, Right Now that will get me to the goal I have of being in shape. Yes, I need to plan and see the outcome I want, but I need to focus on what I do Right Here and Right Now. Put down the donuts (Right Here Right Now) and speed up the treadmill (Right Here Right Now); add a few more repetitionss with the weights (Right Here Right Now.) What I do in the present will create the future.

I need to put that philosophy to work in all parts of my life. Health, Faith, Family, Relationships, and Career. Each time I pick up a bat and go the plate I need to hear the 3rd base coach encouraging me ” Gary! You can do it. You can make the sales call! You can get in shape! You can deepen your relationship with Christ! You can show Judy how much you love her! You can let Tara know she is the best ever first grade teacher! You can take a positive, encouraging attitude everywhere you go today.” Gary, just be the best you can be – RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! Everything else will be influenced by what you do – Right Here, Right Now!

How simple!

Thoughts on Trust

Posted On: 02-01-2014

I was working with my eight grade Sunday School class. We have stepped into trust. That’s a big step.

They believe what they can see and they are challenged to trust what they can not see or touch. They are asked to have faith. But then that’s the reason we gather each Sunday. It’s all about faith. We are discussing faith in God, His Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. It would be so much easier if we could just show up with something they can touch or hold or examine with their hands. It’s not that easy and that is why it’s called FAITH … or trust.

What we are called to do as individuals of Faith is to trust in something we cannot see or touch but only understand through experience. And then we are called to share that experienced faith so that others will see it acted out and begin to believe.

A church asked me to speak at their services. A witness talk about stewardship. Stewardship is about giving but first it’s about a relationship. A relationship based on faith lived out in experiences. The only way I know to witness my faith is to share the experiences that made the faith I have grow.

When I have presented witness talks in the past I am deeply concerned that me talking about me (my experiences) will turn people off. “He’s just talking about himself,” I imagine the individuals in the pews will say. They are right. I am talking about my stories and the people in my life. That’s how my faith is played out … in real life … my real life experience and actions while living life!

Once I start thinking this way I realize what I need. I need trust! Trust in God and trust in me. Only when I share my story and my experiences will God come alive in my life. I need to have Faith. The very same Faith, and trust, that I am trying to get my 8th grade Sunday School class to understand. Here’s what I have come up with. Faith and Trust must be lived to be understood. We experience these qualities, we don’t necessarily explain them. That’s why they are difficult to explain. They have to be experienced; experienced in challenges, in trials, in doubts, in success, in joy, in hope and in love. Wait a minute how do you explain hope and love?

Something else you have to experience … but that’s another subject for another class.

What to bring for the presentation!

Posted On: 05-01-2012

Shared the I CAN PLAY message with Breckenridge County football team and their boosters Saturday night. The formula is Vision, Positive Atmosphere and Risk. Put them together and you get strong in your self-belief and that belief is the first step to success.

Something else happens when you begin to live the I CAN PLAY attitude. The energy level increases … and then excitement shows up and enthusiasm catches on.

Here’s how it happens, I bet you will agree. When we bring energy with us it causes us, and others, to get excited. It just happens. Bring energy to a meeting, to a family reunion, to a football practice, to a classroom, to a one-on-one conversation, it bring the level of activity up. That activity promotes excitement. People begin to think of the possibilities, the opportunities. That lends itself to creating enthusiasm. Individuals step up, open up to new ideas. They share their beliefs, see possibilities, individuals focus on the goal and formulate the path to success.

Sounds exciting doesn’t it! It is what happens when we bring energy to the conversation, the presentation, the game, the relationship, the new directive. Every time? Perhaps. Give it a try. Make the energy rise when you show up. Think YES and say YES. Positive people see success negative people see obstacles.

I started the Breckenridge County presentation with a story of coaching 7 year olds and teaching them how to hit the ball. I suggested to the kids parents they create games in the backyard using a broomstick and plastic balls the size of a golf ball. Create some fun in the back yard while teaching them to hit. The kids learn eye hand coordination and the parents are building a relationship! It also creates energy that helps a coach build a baseball team. If they can hit a plastic ball the size of a golf ball they can hit a baseball with a bat!

But the energy is the most important creation. You can build excitment and enthusiasm off the energy … and the three e’s go a long way in building a team, a relationship and a life.

As I told the story at Breck County I was hitting plastic golf balls with a broom stick. The balls were flying in the air over and into the audience. It’s all about energy. The same energy they want to create for the football team and the boosters.

Bring energy to everything you do and all your presentations … in front of an audience of 50 or an audience of one. Energy creates excitement. Excitement gets people listening.

Questions shared with Precious Blood

Posted On: 03-15-2012

Just returned from a Mission with Precious Blood Parish in Owensboro, KY. I met and prayed with some wonderful people who are letting their Light shine in the Parish and beyond!

We discussed a couple of communication processes using questions … asking others, but more importantly asking ourselves. Here are some of the questions and ideas we explored during the three day Mission.

Who am I? This digs to our very core. Who am I? What a question! But instead of just ignoring the question start writing down answers. Explore yourself, the deeper you explore the more you will understand. And if you don’t like some of the answers…adjust!

What do I believe? If you were required to stand on a roof top and shout out what you believe , for everyone to hear–What would you say? Similar to what does your sign say or what is your message. What do you believe?

What are my values? This one is similar to what do I believe but with a twist. What values to you adhere to. Truth, is that important? Honesty, commitment, service to others… what values drive you to be who you are. Write them down so you know who you are and what you are committed to.

What are my talents? This a little easier but still difficult to address. The best way to discover talents is to use your talents. List your talents — it helps define who you are.

What am I doing with my talents? Do I give my talents away, that is, do I use them. The only way they come alive is to put them to action. If you are an artist but haven’t put a brush on a canvas, you aren’t using your talents. If you are a great communicator but don’t greet people, or look them in the eye when you speak, you aren’t doing much with your talent. Use you talents, all of them, use them often, and you will discover there’s more in there. Keep looking!

What holds me back? Let’s face it you are a unique individual, unique talents, skills but sometimes things hold you back from being the best you can be. Explore what holds you back. Name it, tame it and move forward … get past the obstacle. You first have to identify what holds you back.

Questions are wonderful tools to use for growth. Grow yourself, grow your family, your church, and your workplace.

Here is the Gary Montgomery process when using questions with others … Q-L-C.

Of course the Q stand for quetions. Open conversation with others with questions about them.

The L stands for Listen and for Learn. And learning about others is most important. Listening is the process we use to Learn about others. Pay close attention about them because the more we learn about others, the deeper we can go in building a relationship.

The C stands for Contribute. Once we learn what individuals like and dis-like we can Contribute to them and help them grow by feeling better about themselves. When they feel better about who they are, because they were around and with us, well that’s leadership. They will want to be around you, listen to you and be influenced by you more and more because you help them feel better about who they are. That’s the process … how to use questions to help others grow.

At the three-day Mission we focused on using the questions in our life to grow, to discover the Light, to become the Light, and then to give the Light of Christ away.

Be specific and go deep when questioning yourself. You can take it because you want to be the best you can be.

Be gentle when using the question technique with others. They don’t yet know how good they can be. They need you to guide them.

The friendly people at Precious Blood were an inspiration for me to continue questioning and working to grow and share the Light! Thanks for the kindness and hospitality!

Coaching is discovering

Posted On: 03-09-2012

After a few years coaching kids in baseball I realized I had it all wrong. Coaching has little to do with telling or showing. It is all about discovery … discovering ways for players to get rid of the obstacle, which keeps them from being the best they can be. It is also true when teaching communication skills, leadership, personal development, or success training. Great coaches help individuals and teams get past their barriers.

When I coached baseball I learned that many kids were afraid of the ball. Trying to tell them how to catch a fly ball was useless. They were focused on not getting hurt. Catching the fly ball was not a priority. After I discovered the obstacle I needed an action step to get rid of the fear.

I showed up with tennis balls. Not just because the ball is softer, it is, but because tennis balls bounce. So I sent my team to the outfield with the instruction to catch the ball on first bounce. Here’s what happened. They were less afraid of getting hit in the head with a bouncing tennis ball so they were able to focus on the instructions, the process of learning how to catch; proper footwork, glove technique, stay in front of the ball. These are all skills that will lead to catching a fly ball, and the players, the kids, were learning without the fear of getting hit in the head. Teaching how to catch a fly ball was now simple.

You can read instructions out of a book. How to be a leader, how to give a presentation, how to find success, or how to catch a fly ball, but telling, showing, or reading will not move you beyond your obstacles. Perhaps a coach is required, someone who is not concerned about telling or showing, but more concerned about what holds you back, that’s discovery. Once the obstacle is discovered we can name it, tame it, and move on.

By the way, sometimes, even after the tennis ball process, some kids did take a ball on the head. Then we brought out the catcher’s mask … and continued the process.