Honesty

I have been invited to speak to the seniors at Trinity High School next week .  My son attended Trinity so there is some history here.  The school fathers teach the students to be men of character … and one of the core characteristics is honesty.  I am addressing them on that subject.

My first thought is that honesty is a wide reaching subject.  Think about it, if you had to present on honesty where would you start.  Well you would tell them to always tell the truth, be honest. But then where do you go?  It’s a broad subject.

Well, since I need to address these young men I have been focused on the subject for about three months.  Here’s what I have come up with.

Honesty is internal but it is expressed externally.  Honestly is an required navigational tool for making decisions.  Honesty is a must for great leaders so that others can trust them.  Honesty is a foundational building block for success.  Honesty helps you become comfortable with who you are and pushes you to where you want to go.

O.K. we could go on.  But what I have done is tell you what the characteristics of  honesty do for you … yes it is needed.  But how do we get ti?

Here’s how we do it.  We dig deep inside ourselves, find out who lives there, and we plan to tell the truth with that person.  We start to ask that person questions.  It makes sense doesn’t it.  If we are going to be controlled by someone we should know who is doing the controlling.

Here are the questions to ask.  1. Who am I?  2. What do I believe?  3.  What are my values s?  4.  What are my talents?  5.  What am I doing with my talents?  6. What are my dreams?  7.  What holds me back?

O.K. now, be honest!  When you are honest with yourself you know who you are, what your dreams are, and how you are going to act on your way to success.  You know what you believe and you stop worrying about what others think about you or your ideas.

I laugh at some of the goofy decisions I made through my life because I was concerned about what someone else thought of me or what I was going to do.  I wasn’t honest with myself!

Perhaps it’s part of maturity or it’s just trying and failing  ..just being honest with yourself and trust yourself.  Whatever it is, I find life is easier when I am honest with myself and base my decisions on what I know to be true .. trust myself.

O.K.  That’s what I’ll tell the students at Trinity.

 

 

 

Simple Communication

Spent a full day with teachers working on the I CAN PLAY attitude, Teamership, Leadership, and Influence.  I have decided it all comes down to communication.  Not just talking but the total communication process.

There are 3 keys to communication – Engage, get their attention – Influence, share the important facts – Add Value, help them understand the benefit to them.

Now that sounds simple.  You might say communication is just talking, often about things that are not terribly important and that others do not want to hear.  Exactly, so let’s adjust our thinking and make communication exciting.  Become intentional in your communication, specifically the conversations you share with others.  It might be difficult to totally transform so pick your spots.

Perhaps  try it with your husband, wife, son or daughter.  Or someone you work with.  Here’s the routine.  Engage someone by making sure you have their attention.  How?  On the television screen I used to say this simple phrase ..”WATCH THIS!” and then pause.  It’s attention getting.  The words attract attention but the pause, the silence, it captures them.  It’s engaging.

Once engage, you have their attention, tell them the important information that they need to know and why they need to know it.  Be specific and to the point, brief, in your sharing.  Add energy and excitement.  Influence them with the information and the process of receiving the information.  Become an expert for the moment,  passing along the information in a way that they enjoy listening.

You might think that what you have to share is not important.  Then I suggest you just keep quite until you have something to say.  Or perhaps go discover some new excitement in your life or ways to help others understand they can be better than they think they can be!

Finally, let them know how the information can benefit them.  Add value to their lives!   Display how listening to you can help them grow, understand, learn, and be better than they were before they encountered you.  Make it an enjoyable experience listening to you.  Be sure that what you say, and how you say it, adds values to them.

You might say ….”All I want to do is share some information with them.  Gary, you’re trying to make it some grand event.”

That’s exactly what I am trying to do.  And so can you.  Try it!  It will help in your leadership development.

Questions shared with Precious Blood

Just returned from a Mission with Precious Blood Parish in Owensboro, KY.  I met and prayed with some wonderful people who are letting their Light shine in the Parish and beyond!

We discussed a couple of communication processes using questions … asking others, but more importantly asking ourselves.  Here are some of the questions and ideas we explored during the three day Mission.

Who am I? This digs to our very core.  Who am I?  What a question! But instead of just ignoring the question start writing down answers.  Explore yourself, the deeper you explore the more you will understand.  And if you don’t like some of the answers…adjust!

What do I believe? If you were required to stand on a roof top and shout out what you believe , for everyone to hear–What would you say?  Similar to what does your sign say or what is your message.  What do you believe?

What are my values? This one is similar to what do I believe but with a twist.  What values to you adhere to.  Truth, is that important?  Honesty, commitment, service to others… what values drive you to be who you are.  Write them down so you know who you are and what you are committed to.

What are my talents? This a little easier but still difficult to address.  The best way to discover talents is to use your talents.   List your talents  — it helps define who you are.

What am I doing with my talents? Do I give my talents away, that is, do I use them.  The only way they come alive is to put them to action.  If you are an artist but haven’t put a brush on a canvas, you aren’t using your talents.  If you are a great communicator but don’t greet people, or look them in the eye when you speak, you aren’t doing much with your talent. Use you talents, all of them, use them often, and you will discover there’s more in there.  Keep looking!

What holds me back? Let’s face it you are a unique individual, unique talents, skills but sometimes things hold you back from being the best you can be.  Explore what holds you back.  Name it, tame it and move forward … get past the obstacle.  You first have to identify what holds you back.

Questions are wonderful tools to use for growth.  Grow yourself, grow your family, your church, and your workplace.

Here is the Gary Montgomery process when using questions with others … Q-L-C.

Of course the Q stand for quetions.  Open conversation with others with questions about them.

The L stands for Listen and for Learn. And learning about others is most important.  Listening is the process we use to Learn about others.  Pay close attention about them because the more we learn about others, the deeper we can go in building a relationship.

The C stands for Contribute.  Once we learn what individuals like and dis-like we can Contribute to them and help them grow by feeling better about themselves.  When they feel better about who they are, because they were around and with us, well that’s leadership.  They will want to be around you, listen to you and be influenced by you more and more because you help them feel better about who they are.  That’s the process … how to use questions to help others grow.

At the three-day Mission we focused on using the  questions in our life to grow, to discover the Light, to become the Light, and then to give the Light of Christ away.

Be specific and go deep when questioning yourself.  You can take it because you want to be the best you can be.

Be gentle when using the question technique with others.  They don’t yet know how good they can be.  They need you to guide them.

The friendly people at Precious Blood were an inspiration for me to continue questioning and working to grow and share the Light!  Thanks for the kindness and hospitality!

Buy in

A few years ago Notre Dame beat Michigan.  My son is a Notre Dame grad and we are Irish football fans.  The teem had been struggling so victories were valuable.  This particular win was against a sub-par Michigan team.   The Wolverines had a new coach and they were struggling.   Nonetheless, Notre Dame had a victory.

My son called after the win,  “Dad, we’re back!”

“Troy,” I said, “Did you watch the game?  Michigan turned it over three times in the first quarter and Notre Dame couldn’t take advantage.  Notre Dame was kicking field goals when they should have been scoring touchdowns from close range.   Notre Dame  didn’t put on a very good display against a pretty bad opponent.”

“Dad,” came the reply from the phone.  “Don’t be negative, you gotta be a fan.”

That’s what he said.  What he meant was — are you in or are you on the sidelines?  Real fans buy in!

It made me think about commitment.  There are things I am really committed to in life and those commitments show up in everything I think and do.  As I look back at my past I can see where I was truly committed, and I see where I was partly committed, and I can see where I merely went through the motions, when I was on the sidelines.  It made a difference in the results.

Today I know what I believe and that belief guides my commitment in all parts of life;  faith, family and profession.

At a breakfast with a new friend this morning I shared  that self-belief, self-trust, makes life easier.  It becomes easier  because you know what to ‘jump into’ … what to ‘just do’ … what to commit to … and what to buy into.

Word list

For the next few weeks I am going to list words that move me.  Perhaps they move you also.   “Move me?” you might say!

I mean move you mentally.  Cause you to take steps.  Make you do something different, improve yourself.

My favorite word is ADJUST.   “Now how can that move you?” is the question.   Adjust is a synonym for the word change.  I don’t like change, or at least the word.  Change sounds harsh, abrupt.  I would rather adjust.   Let the world change … I’ll just adjust.  It sound so much simpler.

Adjust is the way we learn and the way we deal with life.  We adjust our thinking about something and we learn more.  We open our minds (adjust) and we put in more knowledge.  When we try one way, and it doesn’t work, we adjust, try a new path. It really is that simple.  But we must be able, capable and eager to adjust.  That’s the hard part.  Looking for and being ready to adjust.

Somebody (I have looked it up but have not found who) said something like this.  If you want to go somewhere you’ve never been …  you have to do something you’ve never done.

That’s the long way of saying ….”ADJUST.”

March Adventures

Started the month in Las Vegas at the Pizza Expo.  A huge Pizza industry show… great food and wonderful individuals growing their pizza businesses.  I shared a couple of seminars “How to build and I CAN PLAY attitude” and “A penny’s worth of adjustment”, dealing with change in challenging times.  It truly is all about adjusting.  Success is all about adjusting!

Back in Louisville, KY I presented a three-day mission at St. Paul’s Catholic Church.  The theme was “Christ is the Light” … how to find Him, absorb Him and give Him away.   It was a gathering of wonderful people.  We laughed, learned and grew in our faith.  It was truly an unforgettable experience.

I spent time with the staff at “Elite Homes.”  This is the company that built the house for the Hughes Family on the ABC Sunday Night Show, “Extreme Makeover!”  I can see why they were able to create and share the excitement needed to “…move that bus!”

Coming up …. two more 8th grade retreats.  The first one with St. Catherine Academy in New Haven,  Kentucky, then another with St. Bernadette Academy in Louisville, KY.    I learn a lot from the young people exploring and stretching in their faith.

April adventures include working with Mortgage Bankers Association,  Dayton, Ohio Head Start and a return visit to Lincoln Hills Development Corporation,  a Community Action Program in Tell City, Indiana.

Hello 2010

I’ve just emerged into 2010.  Too cold to get out.  I guess that might be a resolution; learn to deal with the cold!

Gearing up for some January events.  I have a Confirmation retreat coming up January 18 with St. Thomas More and St. Nicholas Schools.  It’s always a blessing to work with 8th graders as they prepare to take a step in their faith life.

January 21st I will share the I CAN PLAY formula with the North East Louisville Business Association.  The 22nd and 23rd is a parish council staff retreat with St. Thomas in Bardstown Kentucky and another 8th grade Confirmation retreat on January 30th with St. Bernadette.

I want to share some resolutions and some ideas on making them come true but that will have to wait.  Going to check out another football Bowl game.  Only a few left.

Hope the new year is off to a great start!

Retreat

Just back from a retreat with St. Micheal men in Louisville Kentucky.  The weekend event was an opportunity to explore Christian Leadership with a group of men committed to their church, their families and their careers.

As we explored the different qualities of leadership in each area of our lives we began to identiy the same qualities in each area.   It didn’t take long for them to conclude that it’s what we bring to each area of life that will decide the success we will enjoy in each area.  It’s what we bring to our church, our relationships and what we bring to our careers.

Finally we decided that we need to bring hope to those people and places in our lives … and it starts with us.

Leaders build hope internally then share it wherever they travel.