Tag: Communication

Honesty

Posted On: 09-18-2013

I have been invited to speak to the seniors at Trinity High School next week .  My son attended Trinity so there is some history here.  The school fathers teach the students to be men of character … and one of the core characteristics is honesty.  I am addressing them on that subject.

My first thought is that honesty is a wide reaching subject.  Think about it, if you had to present on honesty where would you start.  Well you would tell them to always tell the truth, be honest. But then where do you go?  It’s a broad subject.

Well, since I need to address these young men I have been focused on the subject for about three months.  Here’s what I have come up with.

Honesty is internal but it is expressed externally.  Honestly is an required navigational tool for making decisions.  Honesty is a must for great leaders so that others can trust them.  Honesty is a foundational building block for success.  Honesty helps you become comfortable with who you are and pushes you to where you want to go.

O.K. we could go on.  But what I have done is tell you what the characteristics of  honesty do for you … yes it is needed.  But how do we get ti?

Here’s how we do it.  We dig deep inside ourselves, find out who lives there, and we plan to tell the truth with that person.  We start to ask that person questions.  It makes sense doesn’t it.  If we are going to be controlled by someone we should know who is doing the controlling.

Here are the questions to ask.  1. Who am I?  2. What do I believe?  3.  What are my values s?  4.  What are my talents?  5.  What am I doing with my talents?  6. What are my dreams?  7.  What holds me back?

O.K. now, be honest!  When you are honest with yourself you know who you are, what your dreams are, and how you are going to act on your way to success.  You know what you believe and you stop worrying about what others think about you or your ideas.

I laugh at some of the goofy decisions I made through my life because I was concerned about what someone else thought of me or what I was going to do.  I wasn’t honest with myself!

Perhaps it’s part of maturity or it’s just trying and failing  ..just being honest with yourself and trust yourself.  Whatever it is, I find life is easier when I am honest with myself and base my decisions on what I know to be true .. trust myself.

O.K.  That’s what I’ll tell the students at Trinity.

 

 

 

It looks like this!

Posted On: 09-06-2013

One of the challenges with delegating is to be sure that everyone understands the directions and the desired results.  One of the ways to clarify is to use the ‘it looks like this’ phrase when identifying the results or expected outcomes and the steps along the path.    Another way is to use questions in opening the minds of those to whom you assign the tasks.  Questions such as – What will your first step be?  What resources will you need?  Who do you go to for assistance when you are stuck?

Questions are great and identifying the outcome help others see the goal…and both processes are motivational.  Most know the values of questions.  I have addressed them in the past and will go deeper in a future article.  Right now let’s focus on seeing the goal before it becomes reality, and how it motivates us.   I call that vision.  It’s part of the ‘I CAN PLAY’ attitude we need for success.

About ten years ago I had a knee replacement.  The surgery was simple compared to what was next … physical therapy.  One part of the process to get my knee back to normal movement was the stationary bike.  Sounds simple for someone with good knees.   My left knee was not good.  It was swollen and sore from the surgery and I had difficulty moving it.  Back to the bike.  I could not make my left knee bend so that I could make the rotation on the bike.   The goal was to go all the way around but I couldn’t bend my knee to make the complete circle.  Too much pain!

On my fourth visit to the physical therapist Shawn greeted me with “We’re going all the way around today on the bike!”  I looked at him like he was crazy.  I can’t get my knee to bend enough to go all the way around.  Too much pain.  “No way,” I said.  Shawn looked me in the eye.  “We can do it, we’re going all the way around …today!”

I got on the bike but did not have the same expectation that Shawn expressed.  Too much pain!  Shawn noticed that I was doing what I had been doing in previous visits;  go to the point of pain on the bike, then reverse direction.  He yelled across the room, “Gary, we’re going all the way around…today!”

Shawn was good… like a teacher or coach good.  He had gained my respect, built a relationship during previous visits, and now he was setting the bar higher.  Here’s the goal … all the way around.  It was like he was saying …”IT LOOKS LIKE THIS!  All the way around.”

Shawn’s motivation, inspiration, and direction worked.  After a series of reversals, I started trying a little harder, absorbing a little more pain, visualizing what success looks like and …. I DID IT.  I went all the way around!  Once I completed the circle I let go with a loud scream!  Everybody stopped their therapy and stared.  “What’s that all about,?” is what I interpreted their staring to be asking  … so I explained the reason for the yelling.  “I went all the way around,” was my simple explanation.

It happened because Shawn got me to see success.  Without saying the exact words he got me to understand “It looks like this” and then the vision became reality.

Simple Communication

Posted On: 07-25-2012

Spent a full day with teachers working on the I CAN PLAY attitude, Teamership, Leadership, and Influence.  I have decided it all comes down to communication.  Not just talking but the total communication process.

There are 3 keys to communication – Engage, get their attention – Influence, share the important facts – Add Value, help them understand the benefit to them.

Now that sounds simple.  You might say communication is just talking, often about things that are not terribly important and that others do not want to hear.  Exactly, so let’s adjust our thinking and make communication exciting.  Become intentional in your communication, specifically the conversations you share with others.  It might be difficult to totally transform so pick your spots.

Perhaps  try it with your husband, wife, son or daughter.  Or someone you work with.  Here’s the routine.  Engage someone by making sure you have their attention.  How?  On the television screen I used to say this simple phrase ..”WATCH THIS!” and then pause.  It’s attention getting.  The words attract attention but the pause, the silence, it captures them.  It’s engaging.

Once engage, you have their attention, tell them the important information that they need to know and why they need to know it.  Be specific and to the point, brief, in your sharing.  Add energy and excitement.  Influence them with the information and the process of receiving the information.  Become an expert for the moment,  passing along the information in a way that they enjoy listening.

You might think that what you have to share is not important.  Then I suggest you just keep quite until you have something to say.  Or perhaps go discover some new excitement in your life or ways to help others understand they can be better than they think they can be!

Finally, let them know how the information can benefit them.  Add value to their lives!   Display how listening to you can help them grow, understand, learn, and be better than they were before they encountered you.  Make it an enjoyable experience listening to you.  Be sure that what you say, and how you say it, adds values to them.

You might say ….”All I want to do is share some information with them.  Gary, you’re trying to make it some grand event.”

That’s exactly what I am trying to do.  And so can you.  Try it!  It will help in your leadership development.

What to bring for the presentation!

Posted On: 05-01-2012

Shared the I CAN PLAY message with Breckenridge County football team and their boosters Saturday night.  The formula is Vision, Positive Atmosphere and Risk.  Put them together and you get strong in your self-belief and that belief is the first step to success.

Something else happens when you begin to live the I CAN PLAY attitude.  The energy level increases … and then excitement shows up and enthusiasm catches on.

Here’s how it happens, I bet you will agree.  When we bring energy with us it causes us, and others, to get excited.  It just happens.  Bring energy to a meeting, to a family reunion, to a football practice, to a classroom, to a one-on-one conversation, it bring the level of activity up.  That activity promotes excitement.  People begin to think of the possibilities, the opportunities.  That lends itself to creating enthusiasm.  Individuals step up, open up to new ideas.  They share their beliefs, see possibilities, individuals focus on the goal and formulate the path to success.

Sounds exciting doesn’t it!  It is what happens when we bring energy to the conversation, the presentation, the game, the relationship, the new directive.    Every time?  Perhaps.  Give it a try.  Make the energy rise when you show up.  Think YES and say YES.  Positive people see success negative people see obstacles.

I started the Breckenridge County presentation with a story of coaching 7 year olds and teaching them how to hit the ball.  I suggested to the kids parents they create games in the backyard using a broomstick and plastic balls the size of a golf ball.  Create some fun in the back yard while teaching them to hit.  The kids learn  eye hand coordination and the parents are building a relationship!  It also creates energy that helps a coach build a baseball team.  If they can hit a plastic ball the size of a golf ball they can hit a baseball with a bat!

But the energy is the most important creation.  You can build excitment and enthusiasm off the energy … and the three e’s go a long way in building a team, a relationship and a life.

As I told the story at Breck County I was hitting plastic golf balls with a broom stick.  The balls were flying in the air over and into the audience.  It’s all about energy.  The same energy they want to create for the football team and the boosters.

Bring energy to everything you do and all your presentations … in front of an audience of 50 or an audience of one.  Energy creates excitement.  Excitement gets people listening.

Questions shared with Precious Blood

Posted On: 03-15-2012

Just returned from a Mission with Precious Blood Parish in Owensboro, KY.  I met and prayed with some wonderful people who are letting their Light shine in the Parish and beyond!

We discussed a couple of communication processes using questions … asking others, but more importantly asking ourselves.  Here are some of the questions and ideas we explored during the three day Mission.

Who am I? This digs to our very core.  Who am I?  What a question! But instead of just ignoring the question start writing down answers.  Explore yourself, the deeper you explore the more you will understand.  And if you don’t like some of the answers…adjust!

What do I believe? If you were required to stand on a roof top and shout out what you believe , for everyone to hear–What would you say?  Similar to what does your sign say or what is your message.  What do you believe?

What are my values? This one is similar to what do I believe but with a twist.  What values to you adhere to.  Truth, is that important?  Honesty, commitment, service to others… what values drive you to be who you are.  Write them down so you know who you are and what you are committed to.

What are my talents? This a little easier but still difficult to address.  The best way to discover talents is to use your talents.   List your talents  — it helps define who you are.

What am I doing with my talents? Do I give my talents away, that is, do I use them.  The only way they come alive is to put them to action.  If you are an artist but haven’t put a brush on a canvas, you aren’t using your talents.  If you are a great communicator but don’t greet people, or look them in the eye when you speak, you aren’t doing much with your talent. Use you talents, all of them, use them often, and you will discover there’s more in there.  Keep looking!

What holds me back? Let’s face it you are a unique individual, unique talents, skills but sometimes things hold you back from being the best you can be.  Explore what holds you back.  Name it, tame it and move forward … get past the obstacle.  You first have to identify what holds you back.

Questions are wonderful tools to use for growth.  Grow yourself, grow your family, your church, and your workplace.

Here is the Gary Montgomery process when using questions with others … Q-L-C.

Of course the Q stand for quetions.  Open conversation with others with questions about them.

The L stands for Listen and for Learn. And learning about others is most important.  Listening is the process we use to Learn about others.  Pay close attention about them because the more we learn about others, the deeper we can go in building a relationship.

The C stands for Contribute.  Once we learn what individuals like and dis-like we can Contribute to them and help them grow by feeling better about themselves.  When they feel better about who they are, because they were around and with us, well that’s leadership.  They will want to be around you, listen to you and be influenced by you more and more because you help them feel better about who they are.  That’s the process … how to use questions to help others grow.

At the three-day Mission we focused on using the  questions in our life to grow, to discover the Light, to become the Light, and then to give the Light of Christ away.

Be specific and go deep when questioning yourself.  You can take it because you want to be the best you can be.

Be gentle when using the question technique with others.  They don’t yet know how good they can be.  They need you to guide them.

The friendly people at Precious Blood were an inspiration for me to continue questioning and working to grow and share the Light!  Thanks for the kindness and hospitality!

A path to Communication success

Posted On: 02-20-2012

At a recent presentation skills workshop I was asked about speaking impromptu.  The question  is often asked because we are often called on to share ideas at work, during a conference call,  at committee meetings or at friends gatherings.   We are often asked to speak ‘off the cuff.’  It would be much easier if we had a formula, or a path to follow.

Well here’s a path to follow.  Here’s the simple formula to plug in  — past, present, future. Just use that formula and insert the subject matter.

Here’s an example.  Let’s use gasoline price as the subject and put it  into the formula and see what happens.  Here we go.

“In the past, gas was only a dollar a gallon .  I didn’t think about it much and it did not have much of an effect on what kind of car I bought.  Today, (present) gas prices are hovering around four bucks a gallon and the high cost causes me to curtail trips around the city and it has me thinking of what kind of car to buy.  I’m not sure where the prices are going in the future, but I am sure that we will continue to see smaller cars on the road and drivers thinking more economically about the trips they take as the cost of gasoline becomes a bigger share of the budget.”

The formula gives us a path to follow and that is key element of  communication.  We know where we are going!   When we know where we are going during our conversation or presentation we become more comfortable …  and comfort shows to the audience.  That comfort helps us become more relaxed and in control.

Use the formula next time you are at a loss for words …. it will put you on the right path!