Honesty

I have been invited to speak to the seniors at Trinity High School next week .  My son attended Trinity so there is some history here.  The school fathers teach the students to be men of character … and one of the core characteristics is honesty.  I am addressing them on that subject.

My first thought is that honesty is a wide reaching subject.  Think about it, if you had to present on honesty where would you start.  Well you would tell them to always tell the truth, be honest. But then where do you go?  It’s a broad subject.

Well, since I need to address these young men I have been focused on the subject for about three months.  Here’s what I have come up with.

Honesty is internal but it is expressed externally.  Honestly is an required navigational tool for making decisions.  Honesty is a must for great leaders so that others can trust them.  Honesty is a foundational building block for success.  Honesty helps you become comfortable with who you are and pushes you to where you want to go.

O.K. we could go on.  But what I have done is tell you what the characteristics of  honesty do for you … yes it is needed.  But how do we get ti?

Here’s how we do it.  We dig deep inside ourselves, find out who lives there, and we plan to tell the truth with that person.  We start to ask that person questions.  It makes sense doesn’t it.  If we are going to be controlled by someone we should know who is doing the controlling.

Here are the questions to ask.  1. Who am I?  2. What do I believe?  3.  What are my values s?  4.  What are my talents?  5.  What am I doing with my talents?  6. What are my dreams?  7.  What holds me back?

O.K. now, be honest!  When you are honest with yourself you know who you are, what your dreams are, and how you are going to act on your way to success.  You know what you believe and you stop worrying about what others think about you or your ideas.

I laugh at some of the goofy decisions I made through my life because I was concerned about what someone else thought of me or what I was going to do.  I wasn’t honest with myself!

Perhaps it’s part of maturity or it’s just trying and failing  ..just being honest with yourself and trust yourself.  Whatever it is, I find life is easier when I am honest with myself and base my decisions on what I know to be true .. trust myself.

O.K.  That’s what I’ll tell the students at Trinity.

 

 

 

It looks like this!

One of the challenges with delegating is to be sure that everyone understands the directions and the desired results.  One of the ways to clarify is to use the ‘it looks like this’ phrase when identifying the results or expected outcomes and the steps along the path.    Another way is to use questions in opening the minds of those to whom you assign the tasks.  Questions such as – What will your first step be?  What resources will you need?  Who do you go to for assistance when you are stuck?

Questions are great and identifying the outcome help others see the goal…and both processes are motivational.  Most know the values of questions.  I have addressed them in the past and will go deeper in a future article.  Right now let’s focus on seeing the goal before it becomes reality, and how it motivates us.   I call that vision.  It’s part of the ‘I CAN PLAY’ attitude we need for success.

About ten years ago I had a knee replacement.  The surgery was simple compared to what was next … physical therapy.  One part of the process to get my knee back to normal movement was the stationary bike.  Sounds simple for someone with good knees.   My left knee was not good.  It was swollen and sore from the surgery and I had difficulty moving it.  Back to the bike.  I could not make my left knee bend so that I could make the rotation on the bike.   The goal was to go all the way around but I couldn’t bend my knee to make the complete circle.  Too much pain!

On my fourth visit to the physical therapist Shawn greeted me with “We’re going all the way around today on the bike!”  I looked at him like he was crazy.  I can’t get my knee to bend enough to go all the way around.  Too much pain.  “No way,” I said.  Shawn looked me in the eye.  “We can do it, we’re going all the way around …today!”

I got on the bike but did not have the same expectation that Shawn expressed.  Too much pain!  Shawn noticed that I was doing what I had been doing in previous visits;  go to the point of pain on the bike, then reverse direction.  He yelled across the room, “Gary, we’re going all the way around…today!”

Shawn was good… like a teacher or coach good.  He had gained my respect, built a relationship during previous visits, and now he was setting the bar higher.  Here’s the goal … all the way around.  It was like he was saying …”IT LOOKS LIKE THIS!  All the way around.”

Shawn’s motivation, inspiration, and direction worked.  After a series of reversals, I started trying a little harder, absorbing a little more pain, visualizing what success looks like and …. I DID IT.  I went all the way around!  Once I completed the circle I let go with a loud scream!  Everybody stopped their therapy and stared.  “What’s that all about,?” is what I interpreted their staring to be asking  … so I explained the reason for the yelling.  “I went all the way around,” was my simple explanation.

It happened because Shawn got me to see success.  Without saying the exact words he got me to understand “It looks like this” and then the vision became reality.

Simple Communication

Spent a full day with teachers working on the I CAN PLAY attitude, Teamership, Leadership, and Influence.  I have decided it all comes down to communication.  Not just talking but the total communication process.

There are 3 keys to communication – Engage, get their attention – Influence, share the important facts – Add Value, help them understand the benefit to them.

Now that sounds simple.  You might say communication is just talking, often about things that are not terribly important and that others do not want to hear.  Exactly, so let’s adjust our thinking and make communication exciting.  Become intentional in your communication, specifically the conversations you share with others.  It might be difficult to totally transform so pick your spots.

Perhaps  try it with your husband, wife, son or daughter.  Or someone you work with.  Here’s the routine.  Engage someone by making sure you have their attention.  How?  On the television screen I used to say this simple phrase ..”WATCH THIS!” and then pause.  It’s attention getting.  The words attract attention but the pause, the silence, it captures them.  It’s engaging.

Once engage, you have their attention, tell them the important information that they need to know and why they need to know it.  Be specific and to the point, brief, in your sharing.  Add energy and excitement.  Influence them with the information and the process of receiving the information.  Become an expert for the moment,  passing along the information in a way that they enjoy listening.

You might think that what you have to share is not important.  Then I suggest you just keep quite until you have something to say.  Or perhaps go discover some new excitement in your life or ways to help others understand they can be better than they think they can be!

Finally, let them know how the information can benefit them.  Add value to their lives!   Display how listening to you can help them grow, understand, learn, and be better than they were before they encountered you.  Make it an enjoyable experience listening to you.  Be sure that what you say, and how you say it, adds values to them.

You might say ….”All I want to do is share some information with them.  Gary, you’re trying to make it some grand event.”

That’s exactly what I am trying to do.  And so can you.  Try it!  It will help in your leadership development.

I Can Play

It’s simple, it really is!  Believe in yourself, in your success, and in your ability to get there.  Sure it helps you but it can also influence others.  The individuals you target along with everyone else you encounter!

OK, you’ve heard it before.  But have you started working on it, the self-belief part?  Let me give you a formula for this self-belief.

1)   Vision.  See it of course, but go beyond seeing your success to feeling it.  Goal setting is necessary in this development.  Writing out goals is a challenging process for many.  So challenging that few do it.  Have you done it?  Put on paper what you want to achieve.  Be specific about what it is you want.  Be exact about what day you want it to happen and most importantly create the feeling you will  have as you live your goals.  Some call it dreaming… but do it while you are awake.  Decide what it will feel like, decide how you will act, decide what you will say.  It will help you in your visioning, your goal-setting. Become what you want to be.  Act the way you want to act.  Think the way you will think when you become what you want to be.  See it happening!  You are transforming yourself into what you want to be.   And here’s a key word for the journey — FOCUS!  Focus on the goal (that’s visioning) and the picture will trigger the goal reaching process inside you, and what is inside causes you to take the actions necessary for you to become what you want to be.  It starts when you make your dreams real in your mind so you can call on them at any time.  You can feel it –Focus!  That’s Vision!

2) Positive Atmosphere.  Positive people see success, negative people see obstacles.  Do you believe dthat?  Individuals in my audiences say they do.  In fact I’ve never had an argument about it.  Now I do know negative individuals who have success but they fight it more because they focus on the “I Can’t” before deciding on the “I Can.”  Why not focus on the positive?  The path to achievement, to success, is quicker.  Will you have to overcome obstacles?  Probably.  But if you travel with a positive atmosphere you create a positive environment.  It’s what you bring to the issues, to the meeting, to the committee, to the challenge;  you bring a positive approach to the issue and make it easier to see and create success.  What do you see when you view your success?  Do you see why you can’t achieve or do you see the prize.  Do you focus on your talents and what you can do or the obstacles and the difficultly in thinking differently?  It’s up to you, no one else.  Do you focus on creating a positive atmosphere — and then living in it — and sharing it?  It’s a choice.  Get positive about how you think, how you act, and how you talk to yourself.  Start now to live in a positive atmosphere.  It’s your choice!

3) Risk.  The truth is we must take risk as we travel to success.  If we stay where we are, do not risk, then we stay where we are.  It’s safe but there’s no development or growth.  It’s easy to pick out the individuals who have failed to risk in their lives.  They are all around you.  Doing what they have always done and remaining where they have always been.  Sometimes they might tell you what they could have been or what they could have done.  Ask they why they didn’t reach what they could have done.  In some way they will get to the fact that they didn’t go after it.  Perhaps they had a challenge, or a tragedy, or perhaps they were just comfortable.  The reason is not important but the fact is they didn’t risk something new, something different.  To go somewhere you’ve never been you have to do something you’ve never done.   We need to attempt new feats to reach new heights!  And the exciting part of being a risk taker is that we learn and climb as we discover new processes and ideas.  Risk-taking becomes a way of life and moves us forward, we become comfortable taking risk.  When we become risk takers we grow.  Focus on growing, getting better- become a risk taker.

When we combine Vision, with Positive Atmosphere and Risk taking we start to trust ourselves and we start to believe in our talents, possibilities, opportunities, goals, and actions.  We believe in our selves and what we can accomplish.   We become comfortable reaching out and trying new things.  Failure does not scare us.  We understand we will stumble at times but we believe enough in ourselves not to worry about a temporary setback.   That’s living life with an I CAN PLAY attitude.  When you get there your Focus will change.  You will stay focused on success.  It’s a way of life.

Once you get this I CAN PLAY attitude, you will give it to others.  You can’t help it.  Your actions will influence others — the ones you target and the individuals you will never know that you’ve helped.  You can change the way people think about themselves and success!

What to bring for the presentation!

Shared the I CAN PLAY message with Breckenridge County football team and their boosters Saturday night.  The formula is Vision, Positive Atmosphere and Risk.  Put them together and you get strong in your self-belief and that belief is the first step to success.

Something else happens when you begin to live the I CAN PLAY attitude.  The energy level increases … and then excitement shows up and enthusiasm catches on.

Here’s how it happens, I bet you will agree.  When we bring energy with us it causes us, and others, to get excited.  It just happens.  Bring energy to a meeting, to a family reunion, to a football practice, to a classroom, to a one-on-one conversation, it bring the level of activity up.  That activity promotes excitement.  People begin to think of the possibilities, the opportunities.  That lends itself to creating enthusiasm.  Individuals step up, open up to new ideas.  They share their beliefs, see possibilities, individuals focus on the goal and formulate the path to success.

Sounds exciting doesn’t it!  It is what happens when we bring energy to the conversation, the presentation, the game, the relationship, the new directive.    Every time?  Perhaps.  Give it a try.  Make the energy rise when you show up.  Think YES and say YES.  Positive people see success negative people see obstacles.

I started the Breckenridge County presentation with a story of coaching 7 year olds and teaching them how to hit the ball.  I suggested to the kids parents they create games in the backyard using a broomstick and plastic balls the size of a golf ball.  Create some fun in the back yard while teaching them to hit.  The kids learn  eye hand coordination and the parents are building a relationship!  It also creates energy that helps a coach build a baseball team.  If they can hit a plastic ball the size of a golf ball they can hit a baseball with a bat!

But the energy is the most important creation.  You can build excitment and enthusiasm off the energy … and the three e’s go a long way in building a team, a relationship and a life.

As I told the story at Breck County I was hitting plastic golf balls with a broom stick.  The balls were flying in the air over and into the audience.  It’s all about energy.  The same energy they want to create for the football team and the boosters.

Bring energy to everything you do and all your presentations … in front of an audience of 50 or an audience of one.  Energy creates excitement.  Excitement gets people listening.

Buy in

A few years ago Notre Dame beat Michigan.  My son is a Notre Dame grad and we are Irish football fans.  The teem had been struggling so victories were valuable.  This particular win was against a sub-par Michigan team.   The Wolverines had a new coach and they were struggling.   Nonetheless, Notre Dame had a victory.

My son called after the win,  “Dad, we’re back!”

“Troy,” I said, “Did you watch the game?  Michigan turned it over three times in the first quarter and Notre Dame couldn’t take advantage.  Notre Dame was kicking field goals when they should have been scoring touchdowns from close range.   Notre Dame  didn’t put on a very good display against a pretty bad opponent.”

“Dad,” came the reply from the phone.  “Don’t be negative, you gotta be a fan.”

That’s what he said.  What he meant was — are you in or are you on the sidelines?  Real fans buy in!

It made me think about commitment.  There are things I am really committed to in life and those commitments show up in everything I think and do.  As I look back at my past I can see where I was truly committed, and I see where I was partly committed, and I can see where I merely went through the motions, when I was on the sidelines.  It made a difference in the results.

Today I know what I believe and that belief guides my commitment in all parts of life;  faith, family and profession.

At a breakfast with a new friend this morning I shared  that self-belief, self-trust, makes life easier.  It becomes easier  because you know what to ‘jump into’ … what to ‘just do’ … what to commit to … and what to buy into.

Start in the middle!

In my broadcasting years it was called, bury the lead, and I was guilty of it more than once.  The most important part of the story was written in the second or third paragraph.   Sometime I thought it needed a set up, other time I was concerned it had to be told chronologically.  No matter the reason the most important part of the story was ‘buried,” not intentionally but it happened.

The same happens in speeches.  The presenter, you or me, think we have to start at the beginning.  Eventually we get to the most important part … the part that we came to tell them … later in the speech.

Here’s a different way of speech writing or speech thinking.  Bring the middle to the front, or start in the middle.  Start with the part that is going to WOW the audience, start with the part that always works!  But Gary, you might say,  we have to give them the background.  Right!  Of course you do!  But I bet you can write around that with a simple phrase like…”let me back up to the beginning,” or” let me share how we arrived at that magical moment.”

I recently watched a video of a very influential person giving a presentation.  He has written three best selling books, has a wealth of knowledge and stories  and commands attention when he speaks.  But while I was watching him he was moving nervously, not sure of what he was saying, he looked at the floor, head down and filling space with ums and ahs!  He was horribly uncomfortable.

After about 7 minutes of this he got into the meat of his presentation.  The Ahs and Ums disappeared.  He stopped moving nervously and stood with a strong foundation.  He looked at the audience while telling his powerful stories.  No longer was I thinking this guy is nervous or uncomfortable.  I was listing to the stories he was sharing, no he was re-living!  He was a powerful presenter because he was sharing the part of the presentation where he was comfortable.   I thought out loud while watching “OH YEAH!”  He had buried the lead.

Well, not actually but it’s a similar concept.  As presenters we should start with something that allows us to be most comfortable.  Move your best stuff up to the top.  Start with the stuff you used to put in the middle.  You will start more comfortably and the audience will feed off your lead.  They feel comfortable.

Try it sometime.  either in a formal presentation or a casual conversation.  When telling that story that is funny or feeling, try to start with the most important part or the most important line.  It will get the attention of your audience and they will eagerly listen for more.  Start in the middle!

Word list

For the next few weeks I am going to list words that move me.  Perhaps they move you also.   “Move me?” you might say!

I mean move you mentally.  Cause you to take steps.  Make you do something different, improve yourself.

My favorite word is ADJUST.   “Now how can that move you?” is the question.   Adjust is a synonym for the word change.  I don’t like change, or at least the word.  Change sounds harsh, abrupt.  I would rather adjust.   Let the world change … I’ll just adjust.  It sound so much simpler.

Adjust is the way we learn and the way we deal with life.  We adjust our thinking about something and we learn more.  We open our minds (adjust) and we put in more knowledge.  When we try one way, and it doesn’t work, we adjust, try a new path. It really is that simple.  But we must be able, capable and eager to adjust.  That’s the hard part.  Looking for and being ready to adjust.

Somebody (I have looked it up but have not found who) said something like this.  If you want to go somewhere you’ve never been …  you have to do something you’ve never done.

That’s the long way of saying ….”ADJUST.”

Goal Visioning

When preparing and presenting goal setting seminars I discover many individuals  believe in the goal-setting process but they do not discipline themselves to practice it.  I understand.  It does take time initially to establish the method of success but the simple phrase ‘practice makes perfect’ has credibility. (Or some might inject  “perfect practice makes perfect.”  Yes I think we should do it the right way.)

The first step to develop the path to goal success is to vision, or dream, about the outcome you want to obtain.  The more you focus on the goal the more you reach.  The more you reach, the easier to discover the path … and once you see the path the goal is easier to obtain.  One of the key elements of motivation is to see the path but before the ‘how’ is established we need the ‘what’ to be established.  ‘The what!” is the vision of the outcome, the goal.  So the first step is to see the dream, the vision, the outcome, see success and make it real in our mind!  That will push us to the action needed to make it come alive.

Consider this formula or process for steps to success.  The first process to consider is to practice but not all practice the same way, so not just practice is important but effort is a key consideration.  This is where most goal setting goes wrong.  Little effort – little success.  The next is to dream about the possibilities.  Dream what it will be like to obtain the goal.  How will I feel about myself?  How will I act?   Will I accomplish more?  The dreaming leads to excitement and you grow passionate about the possibilities.  The passion causes you to perform at a higher level.  You begin to expect more out of yourself.  Little victories promote improved practice, effort and performace.  You begin to expand your dreams because you see you can accomplish more.  Success breeds success.

Finally the process promotes intention.  You wake up each day with a renewed idea of what you can accomplish.  Your purpose has been altered.  You step beyond what you were and now reach for higher goals.  Your intention is now to reach beyond comfortable to risk to improve.  The process has disciplined you to  expand your thinking about yourself and what you can accomplish.  You no longer reach for success but have made the choice to live successfully.  It’s what Gandhi said “We have to become the change we want to see.”

You have become a lifetime goal-setter.

Get Passionate about presenting

While we were working on presentation and leadership skills with the AgLead group with Texas Farm Bureau the issue of getting passionate about what you believe popped up.

I teach that passion and excitement are key ingredients in goal setting and in trusting ourselves.  In fact goal setting is pretty simple.  We don’t just jump from where we are to “success,”  we do so in steps… we learn in increments …there are steps to success.  If you are going to be an engineer, first you learn math, second step you study chemistry, then science and so on.  You travel the steps to success!

Now let’s get to the passion and excitement!  As you travel the steps to your goal, or success, you practice what you do.  For instance to learn algebra you work at it, you practice.  Then you put in the effort to learn.  This is where we seperate the individuals who don’t really want to be successful,  not everyone puts in the same effort.

The next key ingredient to reaching success is to dream.  People who dream can see the end result before they get there.  They can see themselves transformed.  They can feel what it will feel like to obtain the goal, they can feel success so they begin acting successful.  That is what dreaming is all about.  You start to become what you want to be.  That is exciting!

Next we address passion and excitement.  Once you begin dreaming you get excited about the success you see and you start acting successfully and you begin to share the transformation and what you can accomplish.  You become passionate about what you believe and you are excited about sharing it with others.

The final ingredient on the way to success is that your life changes.  You have a new intention.  You are re-focused on something that you discovered that you didn’t know before.  Often times it is something you discovered about yourself.  You trust yourself more, you have more confidence and you believe in yourself.  This is the key to success, what I call the ‘I CAN PLAY’ attitude.  If you don’t believe you can do it, you probably can’t.  But if you believe, if you are passionate, if you have self-trust, you have the best opportunity at success.

Back to the AgLead group with the Texas Farm Bureau.  After presenting my “steps” complete with the 1)practice-2) effort-3) dream -4) passion & excitement 5) intention, an individual in the class  had a troubled look.  I asked him to share his thoughts.

“Gary,” he said, “passion and excitement is not our problem.  We are passionate about agriculture and what we do.  It truly is our way of life, but we just aren’t comfortable telling other people about it.”

I understood what he was saying.  Many times I have been passionate and excited aobut something until I ran into someone who believed differently than me.  Then I discovered I was not as passionate and didn’t beleive in that issue as much as I thought I did.  Think about it … if you let someone else tell you what you think about something, you must not be very passionate about it.  The young farmers and ranchers need to deepen their passion, deepen their self-trust and shore up their confidence so that they become what what they believe.  Once they become and live what they believe at all times, that becomes their intention, their purpose.  And they will share their story where ever they go.  With friends, with family, in front of an audience and with people they have never met before.  They will live and act what they believe.

What are you passionate about?